Month: <span>July 2019</span>

Woman Learning How To Manage Daily Stress
Individual Therapy Self Improvement Tips • • By rlederman 0 Comments

Daily Stress Management 

Many of us have busy lives, and it can seem overwhelming at times when there’s too much on your plate. Whether you’re dealing with complications in the workplace or even at home, too much daily stress is a serious health risk that many people take for granted. Whether you’re feeling fatigued, anxious, irritable, overwhelmed or afraid, your body is trying to tell you that something just isn’t right. Learning how to manage daily stress can improve your health and overall happiness. 

What Causes Stress?

There are a multitude of reasons you might feel stress, such as working long hours or a major life event. Other things, such as financial concerns, relationships, and illnesses in your friends or family can all add to your level of stress. One of the biggest causes of stress on a day to day basis, however, is change. Even positive changes, such as an advancement in your career or a new marriage, can put extra stress on the body.

What Are The Symptoms Of Stress?

While many of the changes in your body that stress might cause aren’t easily recognizable, there are several symptoms you may notice when you’re feeling stressed, such as depression, an upset stomach, a loss of appetite, headaches, migraines, difficulty sleeping, anxiety, constipation, diarrhea, fatigue, back pain, a stiff neck, or trouble breathing. You know your body better than anyone, and any of these could be a warning sign that you’re experience stress.

What Are The Risks And Complications Stress May Cause?

While uncontrolled stress can affect aspects of your mind, such as your memory and your ability to concentrate, it can also threaten your physical health. Complications of unmanaged stress include an increased risk of diabetes, heart attacks, a rise in blood pressure, and a weakened immune system.

Stress Reduction Techniques?

While talking to a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) such as Renee Lederman can help you gain back a sense of control over your life, there are also several ways you can help manage your daily stress:

Change Up Your Diet 

Stress can change what and when you eat. Eating a well-rounded diet at regular intervals throughout the day gives your body the energy it needs. Staying hydrated and drinking enough water is another important step towards keeping your body happy and healthy.

Get Enough Sleep 

While it might seem difficult to nod off when you’re worried about the day you had or what’s in store tomorrow, it’s important to give your body the time it needs to repair itself.

Exercise

Workouts aren’t only for improving yourself physically; they can also help emotionally by discharging any excess tension, boosting your own self-image, and releasing endorphins (feel-good chemicals) to your brain and nervous system.

Organize

Conquering the smaller challenges in your life—such as cleaning your workspace or breaking down a large project into more manageable tasks—can help you feel like you’re in control again.

Meditate

There are many different styles of meditation that appeal to a wide variety of people. Some examples you might try include taking deep, calm slow breaths to improve oxygen flow to the brain, stretching your body through the use of yoga poses, or repeating specific motions, such as tightening and relaxing your muscles, to help relieve stress. 

Be Prepared 

Plan ahead for situations you know might make you uncomfortable. Laying out your wardrobe the night before a meeting or job interview saves time and worry the next morning.

Enjoy Life

Allow yourself to be social and have fun by getting involved in activities you enjoy, such as sports leagues, social outings, or events in your town or city.

Ready to get started on the road to less stress?

Have you tried the tips above and still feel like you need some additional help? If you’re ready to begin your journey towards managing your daily stress with a licensed professional counselor (LPC), contact Renee Lederman today at 832-969-3885 to schedule your first appointment.

 

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Happy Woman Knowing The Importance Of Self Care
Individual Therapy Self Improvement Tips • • • • • By rlederman 0 Comments

How To Reduce Anxiety Through Self Care

Between jobs, family, and day to day chores, life often gets in the way of self care. Even though taking care of yourself is paramount, it is very easy to let your own needs fall short while taking care of the myriad of things life throws at you. Failing to care for your own well-being, however, may lead to heightened levels of stress and anxiety, and can also have a severe impact on your body’s ability to fight off illness and infection. Here are some self care tips to reduce anxiety that you should practice regularly to live a more healthy lifestyle.

6 Types Of Self Care For A Low Stress, Healthy Lifestyle

Emotional Self Care

Allow yourself to experience your feelings so that you may work through them in a healthy manner. You can practice emotional self care by explaining your inner fears to a loved one or by simply being unafraid to allow yourself to show emotion. The stress and anxiety brought on by bottling up feelings inside rather than releasing them in a controlled manner is not only unhealthy for your mental health, but can also lead to physical conditions such as ulcers and heart problems.

Spiritual Self Care

Spiritual self care is about accepting the fact that something in this world is larger than yourself. Although many people might automatically assume spiritual self-care revolves around religion, this is not always the case. The earth is gigantic. The universe is even bigger. Understanding your place in your surroundings will help you center yourself to discover where you belong in respect to everything that surrounds you.

Practical Self Care

Taking care of practical matters means resolving small situations to avoid future stressors. Things such as balancing your checkbook, cleaning out your refrigerator, or tucking money away in savings for a rainy day all count as practical self care. Changing the oil in your car, for example, is a small task that helps you easily avoid future problems that will turn into stressful situations down the road.

Mental Self Care

Engage in activities that stimulate your mind. Solving a puzzle, going to the theater, and reading a book are all forms of mental self care. Learning something new every day is the key to living a positive and productive life. What’s more, frequently stimulating your mind has been shown to offset and even prevent diseases such as dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Physical Self Care

Physical self care doesn’t have to mean working out. It can involve simple things such as eating healthy or staying hydrated on a hot summer day; making small life changes like taking the stairs instead of the elevator; and taking more regular showers and remembering to wash your face before bed. Taking care of yourself physically doesn’t mean you have to treat your body like a temple, but you should strive to feel a sense of pride in your physical well being.

Social Self Care

This may, in fact, be the type of self care that gets ignored the most. It’s altogether too tempting to cancel plans because you feel tired or you don’t think you’ll have fun. Social anxiety and isolation can lead to feeling depressed and alone. But interaction with those important in our lives is a large part of what keeps us healthy both physically and mentally. Lunch with a coworker can do wonders to lift your morale at work. A night out with friends tends to bring a smile that can last for days, if not weeks. Socialization is key to keeping yourself happy with yourself and your surroundings, as well as for enjoying all that life has to offer.

Ready To Take The Next Step Towards A Low Stress Lifestyle?

If you are struggling and would like to learn ways to reduce stress and anxiety, Renee Lederman can help you learn to practice self care. As a licensed professional counselor and life coach based in Houston, Texas, Renee Lederman has helped many people remember how to put themselves first. Contact Renee Lederman, or call (832) 969-3885 to set up an appointment.

For more advice on self care and reducing anxiety, read about the real physical and emotional benefits to regularly showing and feeling gratitude.

 

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Childhood Trauma & Neglect Affect On Adult Relationships
Individual Therapy Self Improvement • • • • • • By rlederman 0 Comments

How Childhood Trauma & Neglect Go On To Affect Adult Relationships

Childhood is the time in our lives when we learn the most about interacting with other people, and how to navigate the complex world of social relationships. The lessons that we learn as children from our caregivers, often have lasting effects that continue to shape the relationships and bonds that we form as adults with our friends, family, and loved ones. As a licensed professional counselor in Houston, TX, Renee Lederman can teach you how to overcome the negative childhood patterns of behavior that are affecting your relationships in adulthood. 

These lessons are not always formal or intentional. During early childhood through adolescence, children develop neural pathways that influence how they form emotional attachments. Traumatic experiences in childhood can change how those neural pathways develop. Children who receive support and validation from caregivers learn how to build solid attachments based on trust and mutual support. Conversely, abuse, neglect, and trauma can make it harder to build lasting relationships as adults.

The exact connection between childhood trauma and adult relationships is not entirely known, and not every person is affected in exactly the same way. However, we can identify certain patterns of behavior in adult relationships, that often have an origin in childhood trauma and neglect.

Children with Healthy Attachments in Childhood 

Adults who experienced mostly positive, healthy attachments during childhood have a solid foundation to build secure attachments as they get older. 

Adults with secure attachment are not afraid of healthy commitment, or of being open emotionally with friends and partners. They usually involve their partner in important life decisions, and are able to communicate their desires, expectations, and fears without difficulty. 

Negative Childhood Patterns Of Behavior

Adults who have formed negative childhood patterns of behavior suffer varying effects in their adult lives and relationships. It varies by personality, severity of neglect or trauma, and most of all by the type of trauma or neglect they suffered in their youth. 

Children who Experience Prolonged Abuse or Neglect 

Children who suffer prolonged abuse or neglect cannot rely on the people that they love most for healthy affection and support. In adulthood, they may fear intimacy and find it difficult to trust the people that they love. Conversely, they often recognize the value of positive relationships and crave the stability that they did not have as a child, but find it difficult to overcome longstanding fears.

Children who Are Ignored 

Children whose needs and wishes are ignored by their parents often react by becoming increasingly independent, and learning to rely on their own skills in order to take care of themselves at an early age. 

As adults, they may continue to prefer independence over commitment, and may struggle to form lasting attachments or to rely on other people for comfort and support. They may avoid saying “I love you,” or end relationships before things become too serious.

Children who Have Inconsistent or Situational Affection

Sometimes caregivers are hot one day and cold the next. Children who experience unreliable or inconsistent affection from the people they rely on may grow up to exhibit anxious-preoccupied attachment.These children are never sure what to expect from their caregivers, and cannot rely on consistent support and affection.

As adults, they often seek out strong connections. They might exhibit “clingy” behavior, or become hyper-vigilant to any slight changes in a relationship that could signal instability. These adults may need more reassurance that they are loved and wanted, in order to feel secure.

Although trauma can make it more difficult to form positive attachments and relationships, we can also work on changing our patterns of behavior. By understanding common factors that impact our relationships, we can identify areas to work on, and overcome any obstacles that might be holding us back. 

Ready Break Negative Patterns From Your Past?

If you’re in Houston and are ready to start your journey to success with an experienced, compassionate therapist and life coach, contact Renee Lederman today or call 832-969-3885 to schedule your first appointment.

 

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setting Boundaries
Individual Therapy Self Improvement • By rlederman 0 Comments

Setting Boundaries

In any relationship, whether personal or professional, setting boundaries is vital. Your relationships will be healthier, and you will have the emotional and psychological space to thrive. Yet setting boundaries is a skill that can be tough to master. Here are some active steps you can take to create healthy boundaries.

Identify Your Boundary Limits

Setting boundaries requires you to do some introspection. How can you build a fence if you don’t know where your property line is? Begin by tuning into your feelings. Notice what situations cause you to feel uncomfortable, stressed, angry, or resentful. Odds are high that your feelings are caused by crossing your limits. Keeping a journal can help you take an objective look at stressful situations and identify which specific limits were crossed.

Know Non Physical And Physical Boundary Violations

There are many types of behavioral boundaries in relationships. It’s vital to understand specific boundary violations as you begin to set and master your boundary limits. This list illustrates  behaviors that are unacceptable. These behaviors and actions should not be tolerated or accepted as okay. Don’t let others cross the line. If they do, politely call it to their attention and let them know you are setting new boundaries and this is unacceptable for you. It may take several times of reminding them you are fully committed to improving your relationship and respect for your boundaries is going to be a necessary part of the process.  

Non Physical Boundary Violations:

  1. By word or deed, indicate that a person is worth less.
  2. Yelling or screaming.
  3. Ridiculing or making fun of.
  4. Lying.
  5. Breaking a commitment for no reason.
  6. Attempting to control or manipulate another person.
  7. Being sarcastic while being intimate. 
  8. Interrupting.
  9. Blaming.

Physical Boundary Violations:

  1. Standing in another’s personal space without his/her permission.
  2. Touching another person without his/her permission.
  3. Getting into a person’s belongings and living space such as one’s purse, wallet, mail and closet without his/her permission.
  4. Listening to a person’s personal conversations or telephone conversations without his/her permission. 
  5. Not allowing a person to have privacy or violating a person’s right to privacy.
  6. Exposing others to contagious illness.
  7. Smoking around nonsmokers in an identified non smoking area.

Be Forthright

Once you know what you can and can’t tolerate, don’t be afraid to tell people. You don’t need to go around announcing every boundary to every person—in fact, when dealing with people who have similar values and personalities to your own, boundary discussions may never come up, as you will likely approach each other in a similar way.

However, even people that you are very close to may have different boundaries than your own. When you notice yourself becoming tense and uncomfortable with someone, start a dialogue. Explain how you are feeling and what your boundary is. Some boundaries require a bit of compromise, as in a romantic relationship where one partner needs lots of space and the other needs lots of closeness, but you should never agree to behavior that is a clear violation of one of your boundaries.

Own Your Boundaries

Many people have trouble enforcing their boundaries due to feelings of guilt, fear, or self-doubt. Especially in your closest relationships, you might worry that you will anger the other person or even feel that setting boundaries means you are not a good partner, son, or daughter. In reality, though, boundaries are a sign of healthy self-respect and generally lead to healthier relationships. If someone becomes upset with your boundaries, it reflects that person’s issues, not yours. Own your boundaries and work hard to preserve them.

Remain Self-Aware

Very few people are naturally good at setting and sticking to boundaries. Now that you know how it feels when your boundaries are crossed, check in with yourself now and then. If you are starting to feel stressed or resentful, you may need to make a new commitment to honoring your boundaries.

Consider Environmental Factors

Your past and present environments play a large role in your ability to set healthy boundaries. If you were the caretaker of your family, you became accustomed to ignoring your own needs in service to others. If you are currently surrounded by psychologically unhealthy people, you may be giving more than you get. If you are in a job that demands a lot of overtime, you might feel pressured to constantly give more and more, regardless of what you need or want.

Combat these environmental drains on your boundaries by prioritizing self-care. As the airplane safety spiel goes, “put on your own oxygen mask first.” You cannot take care of others unless you are healthy and happy yourself. Identify the things that help you relax and put you in a good mood, and make time for them in your schedule. It is far easier to enforce your boundaries, and to navigate complex relationships, when you are in an energetic and peaceful state of mind.

Ask for Help

If you are having trouble with boundaries, find some help. There are numerous books and websites dedicated to the art of setting boundaries. Church groups, life coaches, mental health counselors, and even close friends or relatives can help you learn to set boundaries and hold you accountable for preserving them.

Take Baby Steps

You wouldn’t pick up a violin for the first time and expect to play a concerto. Any new skill requires a great deal of practice. Start with a small, nonthreatening boundary, and reward yourself for enforcing it. Over time, gradually build up to larger and more complex boundaries. With discipline and hard work, you will eventually find that setting and maintaining boundaries becomes second nature.

Ready to Get Started?

If you’re in Houston and are ready to start your journey to better mental and emotional health with an experienced, compassionate therapist, contact Renee Lederman today at 832-969-3885 to schedule your first appointment.

 

Unshakable Resilience Workbook Visual Download now

Download my Unshakable Resilience Workbook. You’ll learn how to transform your life and your relationships and live a more balanced life.